Moving Forward

When I received the email notification for Week 7 of  The 2015 Art Project,  a group I joined in at facebook founded by Victoria Teasdale, I do not have an idea how I would represent the prompts through art. There were two prompt for the project. Prompt 1 – is looking back at the journey we have come so far and how has it been and prompt 2- is about a page on hindsight or looking back.

Pondering on the email Victoria sent, I made a decision to put together my past, present and future in one page. I started my page with writing everything I could recall from my past up to my now. Then I thought of drawing a road but ended up making a colorful set of tiles depicting my life. I have been thankful to be blessed with a life that is not so difficult, to have parents who worked to send me through school (all the way to college and even after I started working), to be able to to experience joy in having material things, to be sheltered to life’s problems and trials. I’ve had my share of difficult times when I was already working, had married and had experienced making life decisions on my own. My life from the time I knew until now has been smooth sailing with a few bumps here and there, though difficult at times but still considered to be very colorful. I made a wheel with arrows depicting the association of my past, present and future since I believe that these three always always mix together to make us the person we are now. To finish my colorful life tile spin-a-wheel page, I added the lyrics of the song I’m Movin’ On by Pascal Flatts.

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As I am moving on and not totally closing my doors to my past, I am excited for the future that is ahead. I am fired up to welcome what life has in store for me and hopeful that it will still be as colorful as my past and present. 

Growing My Wings

This week’s exercise for The 2015 Art Project is about growing our wings. I think I have been growing my wings since last year.

There were different life events that happened to our family last year from deaths to life changing decisions to moving out of our home country to staying and taking root in another. I have been in a roller coaster ride of high and lows. My body could not cope up with all the emotions I was feeling and it all manifested in my psoriasis, my lesions became redder, more dry and more flakier.

My turning point was just last December. I think that it was my lowest and I am just glad I did not have a breakdown. Instead, for whatever reason, my mind cleared. I was able to see things in perspective, more clear, more reasonable, I felt alive, I felt free, I felt like there was a strip of film that lifted and now I can see everything, feel everything. I can only called that my awakening. Remember the movie of Robert De Niro and Robin Williams, The Awakening? I felt the way De Niro felt when he is ‘awake’.

So since December, I am awake, feeling, different and more alive. I have a lot of soul searching from that time and I have been blessed to have had quite a few answers to some of my questions. I am enjoying life now. Life is not always okay and happy and bright but I learned to dance with it, and in the process of growing my wings I am also slowly spreading them.

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Letting Go

Week 3 exercise at The 2015 Art project is about letting go. This mainly about letting go of worry. We were asked to write three worries that we do not have control over.  As such I made a letter to myself and included that in my art page.

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I am the type of person who worries for everyone in my family. I cannot for the life of me control it so much so that I think that it has something to do with me having psoriasis. My lesions get redder, itchier and flakier when I worry. Maybe it is also because I am the eldest among four siblings and the caregiver of the family. I have enough death experiences from taking care of parents and relatives, giving them comfort in their last days to last me a lifetime of worry. Yes, I am a worrier and not proud of it. Because of worry I have lost a lot of energy that should have been used properly and with the right situation. One of my most unforgettable worry experience was when I had an anxiety attack as a result of over worrying. My body was shaking and I was profusely perspiring. My husband had to raise his voice to tell me to relax, breath deeply and to let go. That incident was an eye opening experience.

There is no artwork to be followed for this week and we are free to interpret it to our heart’s delight. Since I had so many ideas in mind, I decided to make a grid to consolidate them.

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This was my first grid page and I love how it turned out. Though the exercise brought many memories from the past, my conviction to move forward and accept the things I cannot change had been strengthened. When I decided to change my mind set late last year, my life became easier. The moment I felt free,  I knew I am alive (again), and at peace.

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