Self Love Days 198 and 199

Day 198

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Day 199

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The past weekend was a whirlwind of emotions. I was both heart broken and frightened at the same time.

Last Saturday was my father’s 10th year passing anniversary. My husband accompanied me to the province to visit my Papa. I have not visited his grave for so many years because I carry him with me all the time. Ten years had passed and I still cry like it was just yesterday. I was crushed when he passed. As his primary caregiver I never lost hope but as his daughter, I was surrendering him to the Lord. The memories came back and I can only cry. I wept because my Papa was too young to leave us. I wept because I miss him terribly. But I know he is happier up there with the Lord. Pain free and with my Mama. I also wept for the times I needed and will be needing parental advise. Going through life an orphan is not easy. Even with my husband beside me, it will never the the same as when my parents are around to guide, help and provide wisdom. But such is the course of life and I have to stay strong, stand firm and let life be my teacher, my mentor and hope against hope that all will be blessed and according to His will.

 

 

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8 thoughts on “Self Love Days 198 and 199

  1. Condolences and hugs to you. It does not matter how much time passes since a loss, the anniversaries always hit hard and make that grief feel raw again. I am lucky enough to have both parents still living so I cannot pretend to be able to empathise with how you feel but I do know that grief forever changes us and the losses are forever part of who we are now. I am sure that having a wonderful husband and a large and loving family helps carry you through these tough times.

  2. I’m so sorry for you in the loss of both of your parents Carrie. I am sure they would be proud of the beautiful soul they created and how she shines with love and life to many!

    • Thank you, Jodi. ❤ I know with everything that had happened in my life recently, they are now smiling and probably telling themselves, our little girl is not little anymore. She has grown up and is loving life and living it according to His plan. ❤ 🙂

  3. Aw. Blessings to you and your family, Carrie. My dads anniversary was just a few days ago too. Almost 20 years and it’s just like yesterday. I feel ya. Your faith is strong and will pull you through. And having a great husband by your side really helps. Don’t know what I’d do without mine. 💜

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